"What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is a-going on here?!" The title to this post is fitting in two ways. First, it is a phrase usually regarded for theater reviews, and theater has been one of the biggest distractions for me in the past two weeks. Second, it is fitting because of what I plan to do in this post, which is review the major events of the past few weeks. So sit back and relax and we're going to take a little jot around the world of competitive baseball. It will help if you read the following as the announcer to a 1960s era sports show. Enjoy.
To begin our travels around baseball, we'll first step in the American League, where we find the New York Yankees, surprise surprise, atop the eastern division. But what is this? The Rays of Tampa Bay have come storming back from a horrendous 1-8 start, to win 20 of their last 25 games! As the great Yankees player/commentator Phil Rizzuto was known for saying, "Holy Cow!" Helping spawn this renaissance is the little outfielder Sam Fuld, who seemed to do everything right for the team since Manny Ramirez left for greener pastures. Them Damn Yankees still sit on top of the division with a slightly higher winning percentage, but watch out for those Rays!
Meanwhile, in the heartland of America, the Cleveland Indians have been hooting and hollering their way to victory night after night. The 26-year-old sensation Justin Masterson still hasn't lost a game for his squadron, and Josh Tomlin has been looking pretty swell, too. Mr. Grady Sizemore seems to finally be healthy, as he has five dingers already for the season, and shows no signs of that gosh darn knee injury acting up. Those pesky Kansas City Royals are still knocking on the back door, and have just called up their highly-touted phenom at first, Eric Hosmer. The offenses for the Tigers and White Sox have been feast or famine, though lately the two teams have been gorging on their opponents. Sweeping the Central's cellar are the Minnesota Twins who can't seem to hit, field or pitch, leading the formerly mustachioed Carl Pavano to take a 30-ouncer to some equipment in the dugout. I'm glad it's not coming out of my paycheck. (Wha, wha!)
Leading in the West are the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, who are hitting despite the fact they are still missing Kendrys Morales due to his 2010 leg injury, and now might be without the costly Vernon Wells for a spell. The dynamic pitching staff has kept the team apace, and in front of the division rival Oakland Athletics. The Athletics have some fantastic arms of their own, especially Mr. Trevor Cahill who's allowed more than 1 earned run merely once this year. Wow, that is something! The defending champion Texas Rangers are still missing their MVP Josh Hamilton, but fret not fellas, he's due back in just a couple more weeks.
We journey now to the Senior Circuit where the Colorado Rockies are leading the National League West with a record of 19-14. The Rockies have had some hard times with their certified ace Ubaldo Jimenez having trouble regaining his form since an injury to his cuticle. The outstanding combination of Troy Tulowitzki and Carlos Gonzalez hasn't quite caught fire yet, but rest assured sports fans that when it does, the rest of the West will be looking for a hole to crawl in. Hoping that doesn't happen are the defending World Series Champions, who are holding their own against their compatriots. The San Francisco Giants have kept up with every other team while scoring the third-least amount of runs in baseball. Look for general management to put together a deal or two by mid-season to make this Giant lineup even more imposing. Get it, imposin...? Whatever.
Lance Berkman of old has come out of hiding for the Central-leading St. Louis Cardinals this season. The man affectionately known around the clubhouse as Big Puma, or Fat Elvis as some like, has been an absolute tour de force for his new baseball club. His return to prominence, in addition to Matt Holliday's scorching bat, has aided the Cardinals in overcoming the loss of their number one pitcher earlier in Spring Training. When the perennial All-Star Albert Pujols comes around to playing his pinnacle style of play, this team could end up showing opponents stars come July 4th. The Cincinnati Reds might have something to say about that, if their starting rotation can come to form. And look here, what's this?! The Pittsburgh Pirates are saying they are done with being below deck, and want to come up for a breath of fresh air. These young scalawags have proven they have some fight in them for the long haul.
In Philadelphia, the team known as the Phillies are continuing their dominance of the National League even without stalwart players like Roy Oswalt, Brad Lidge, and Chase Utley. Utley begins a rehabilitation assignment tonight, and Roy Oswalt will be returning to the team once he takes care of family matters due to the tornadoes down in Dixieland. This team will be a fearsome titan if these bold men can return healthy for their club. Even with the best record in baseball in hand, this division is not quite won for Philadelphia yet. The Florida Marlins are reeling themselves in, and the Atlanta Braves are within scalping distance. Meanwhile the lowly Metropolitans are as streaky as a glass coffee table.
There's specific news to report as well, as the Minnesota Twins did have a glimmer of happiness as Mr. Francisco Liriano pitched a no-hit game on May 3 versus the Chicago White Sox. Liriano pitched a heck of a game and despite the six walks he allowed, deserved the jubilation and congratulations of his fellow teammates as they celebrated the victory. It is but a small matter that after Liriano's previous outing, one owner in the fantasy baseball universe decided to drop said pitcher due to his 9.13 ERA. I suppose that owner never would have thought that for the first time since the 1920s, a pitcher would decide to throw a no-hitter after being so damn horrible that he made the owner pull his freaking hair out! And then he throws a freaking no-hitter! What the.... But I digress sports fans!
Liriano wasn't the only one who thought May was the perfect time for picking flowers and throwing no-nos. Justin Verlander did even better on May 7th up in the faraway land of Canada. Versus the Toronto Blue Jays, which one can only assume is a bird native to that area, Justin was masterful, and was just one walk away from pitching a perfect game. But perfection is a cruel mistress, and Verlander had to settle for collecting his second no-hit game in his career. Congratulations are in order for both men!
Well, I hope you enjoyed me being silly for just a minute or two. I promise I'll be back with some more posts soon. Until next time, keep your eyes on the ball sports fans.
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