The Great Debate

As promised, I'm starting a new segment here on Pat's Baseball Blog. The Great Debate is going to review and discuss some of the greatest baseball movies of all time. As I'm sure you are all aware, baseball is often called "America's Pastime", but it can be said that so are movies. Americans spend billions of dollars every year going out to see movies, and also on sporting events such as baseball. So it only makes sense that somewhere along the line, the two quintessential American creations would collide. As a result, there have been some wonderful baseball movies over the years. And some not so great. Instead of trying to lump everything into one giant post, we are going to take our time and evaluate each movie by itself. Today we are going to start with, in my opinion, one of the absolute best baseball movies ever: Major League.

I honestly don't know anyone who doesn't like this movie. It is probably the only pure comedy/baseball movie ever made, not counting its sequels of course, which we aren't, because they weren't nearly as good. For those of you unaware of Major League, the story follows a team of misfits who come together to form the stinky Cleveland Indians. The new owner, a former stripper who inherited the team from her dead, rich husband, wants to move the franchise to Miami. In order to accomplish this, she attempts to put together a team who will lose so badly, and generate so little attendance, that the lease with the city will be voided. But lo and behold, the team of over-the-hills, and never-weres starts to win.

When this movie was made in 1989, the real Cleveland Indians were a bleak franchise. They had only 6 winning seasons since 1960. They hadn't been to a World Series since 1954, in which they got swept by the New York Giants. Still worse, they hadn't won a WS since 1948, a fact that the title credit montage wonderfully depicts over a recording of Randy Newman's "Burn On"; a song about the Cuyahoga River catching on fire because of it's dense pollution from the city. According to Wikipedia.org, "There have reportedly been at least thirteen fires on the Cuyahoga River, the first occurring in 1868." The most famous of these fires occurred in 1969, when Time magazine caught wind of the story, and stated the river "oozes rather than flows." All of this visual and audio stimulus shows the plight of the Cleveland fanbase before one line is uttered in the movie. But amazingly, this movie never gets mired in the decay of the once-great city of Cleveland.

Instead, we see the machinations of the beleaguered front-office dealing with the conniving new owner, and getting geared up for Spring Training with their tire salesman/new coach Lou Brown (James Gammon). Trying to win a job on the team are veteran catcher Jake Taylor (Tom Berenger), the delinquent flame-thrower Ricky Vaughn (Charlie Sheen), the flash and dash of Wille Mays Hayes (Wesley Snipes in his first major role), and the Caribbean voodoo defector Pedro Cerrano (Dennis Haysbert). We also get introduced to returning Indians veterans in overpaid shortstop Roger Dorn (Corbin Bernsen) and over-the-hill pitcher Eddie Harris (Chelcie Ross), and probably the funniest of them all, booth commentator Harry Doyle (real life commentator for the Milwaukee Brewers, Bob Uecker). The film's casting was just about perfect, as each actor brought a touch of hilarity without having to sink too deep into back-stories the audience doesn't need.

If you have seen the movie, though, you know all the great lines and scenes. Like when Willie Mays Hayes gets cut before the first practice, and shows off his speed by catching up to, and beating two other guys, in his pajamas. Coach Lou telling Vaughn that "We wear sleeves in the big leagues, son" after Ricky made a vest of his jersey. When an opposing and imposing Yankees slugger named Heywood steps up to the plate and asks Jake, "How's your wife and my kids?", I almost die laughing every time. I know by heart, and could quote nearly the whole movie to you right now. It's these quotes and ridiculous circumstances that make the movie so memorable and fun to watch repeatedly.

What helps make this movie classic is the fact that for all it's silly antics, it's actually well-regarded by countless baseball players. In interviews from when the movie came out, all the way to today's youngsters, most players admit to loving the film, with many saying that it's on constantly in clubhouses and during plane rides. That is because the movie takes into account those real off-field moments that players go through. For instance, when they first get to Cleveland after making the team, Taylor takes Vaughn and Hayes out to a fancy French restaurant that they are ill prepared for. This scene is great not just because Vaughn says "I feel like a banker" after being forced to wear a tie over his cut-off denim vest, but because it shows how awkward it can be to be thrown into a new city and new circumstances. This is the also the scene we are introduced to Lynn Wells (Rene Russo), the one-that-got-away from Jake Taylor, and the subplot of the story.

Jake and Lynn "were both world-class athletes", but Jake's philandering got the best of the relationship, and she is now betrothed to a yuppie. When Jake and the team aren't on the field, he spends his time trying to win her back. This doesn't supplant the main theme of the struggling team though, it's simply a nice side-story that develops one main character instead of trying to give 6 or 7 characters tiny stories. Sure, we get a little confrontation when Vaughn accidentally sleeps with Dorn's wife, and Cerrano and Harris have a discussion about which deity can hit a curveball, but the beautiful thing is that this all takes place in the span of a few short scenes, and those scenes are filled with levity and great writing. The movie is successful and repeatedly watchable because it doesn't take itself seriously, it adds a dash of seriousness to its comedy, and it just so happens to be extremely well written with some incredibly funny lines.

All of these elements work well enough together, but one aspect that really ties the action of the film together is Harry Doyle. Sports movies before and since have tried to have a great commentator voice narrating the action. Some have resorted to real-life booth guys (Miracle, Any Given Sunday), and some have tried the funny route (Waterboy). With Bob Uecker, you get both, in spades. Bob Eucker was a former player who wasn't any good, so he eventually turned to commentating, and his brand of humor lends itself perfectly to the script. After the Indians get shut-out early in the season, Doyle says, "That's all we got, one goddamn hit?" "You can't say goddamn on the air" his normally silent assistant whispers. "Ah, don't worry, nobody's listen anyway." Eucker's self-deprecating humor, which he turns on the Indians, is the best soundtrack to a terrible game of baseball, ever.

However, not all is lost for the Tribe. The team pulls together enough to be decent throughout most of the season. When the team does finally get wind of the new owner's plan, Coach Lou gives them a "dressing-down" that motivates them enough to pull off a surprising comeback and force a 163 game with the hated New York Yankees for the American League pennant. The drama on the diamond is a little silly at times, as an aging Harris is left in the game far too long, and for apparently no reason. "Wild Thing" Vaughn ends up coming in to close out the game, although he was starting games earlier in the year. And Jake Taylor eventually pull a "calls-the-shot" point to the outfield, ala Babe Ruth, only to bunt a run in from second-base. But the ridiculousness of the on-field play is just par for the course, for if the action was a little too well created, then it wouldn't have meshed with the outlandish off-field stuff.

For pure comedy, this movie is great fun to watch. If you are just a passing fan of baseball, you'll love it for the nods to the game. And if you are a player, then I suspect you love it even more for all the allusions to real-life clubhouse hilarity. Without ruining the ending for you all, things work out pretty well, like most sports movies. The movie was so well-received at the time, that it actually helped turn out the baseball fanbase in Cleveland and in a few short years, the Indians starting winning again, returning to the World Series in both 1995 and 1997.

For me, watching this movie before Spring Training begins has become a ritual. It puts me in good spirits for the baseball season to start. It reminds me that anything is possible, and that there are more great things about the game than just what happens between the chalk lines. If you haven't seen it, I recommend giving it a viewing, although there is lots of cursing, so it's not for everybody. It's one of my favorites, though, and it could be considered possibly the best baseball movie around. But there are plenty more movies to choose from, and over time, I hope we get to all of them. Let me know if there is something in particular you'd like me to debate. Until next time!