Fantasy Camp

"Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. That's a fantasy camp!"
While George Costanza's words may be accurate of how we all wish to live, they speak to the relationship men hold with baseball fantasy. We all want to be a ballplayer. Even men and women who say they don't enjoy watching baseball have been known to pick up a stick and take an imaginary swing. And who hasn't envisioned hitting a rocket whilst playing at a company softball game, or when farting around with friends in the park. Everyone would love to have the glory of a bonafide baseball star.
And yet few of us can achieve such greatness. The natural born talent, and dedicated work ethic are more than most of us can dream to have. And then some wonderful human being came up with fantasy baseball. No, it will not let us pretend we are these juggernauts of human prowess. It does one better. It lets us control them.
I've been playing fantasy baseball for a few years now, and while I took a break for a year because of a stupid argument, sorry Jerry, I've returned to the imaginary sport I love so dearly. Fantasy baseball is glorious because we get to pick our favorite players from around both leagues and put them on some perfect team that will never exist but for in our heads, and on a website database somewhere. It gives us a chance to control the destinies of titanic men.
And yet there is a realistic aspect to the greatness of fantasy baseball too. It helps the average fan become a better fan. While some people refuse to admit this, playing fantasy baseball will drive a team manager to discover new, young, unseen, or underrated talent that lurks in the murk of non-stardom. Who was Kendry Morales two years ago? He was an up-and-coming talent, but he was a bench player. Then last year he had a breakout season, but I hadn't heard of him until the end of the year. There were a few factors that contributed to this. One, I don't live in Los Angeles, so I don't hear about many players out that way. Two, since he was just up and coming, he hadn't made a huge name for himself in the larger markets of ESPN baseball nights, and therefore wasn't talked about in the manner that a Vladimir Guerrero was. And third, and most importantly, I wasn't playing fantasy baseball.
The other two facts couldn't really have been avoided, but the third could have, and had I played fantasy baseball last year, I would have been reading draft advice articles, looking up young talent videos, and constantly scouring the free agent pool during the season, looking for the next cheap, yet productive player.
Fantasy baseball allows us to control our favorite players, but more often than not, that is not the team we end up with. Therefore we must force ourselves to draft players we might not like or don't yet know, making us better fans of the game. Through the course of competition we are required to grow as fans, learning to appreciate players that may not play for our favorite team. And that is why I adore fantasy baseball. It makes me better.
If you're interested in joining the league I've started on Yahoo, the league ID# is 151137 and the password is baseball. The league name is Triplebaggers. I look forward to kicking your ass.